Tuesday, March 22, 2022

Mangled Metaphors and Corrupted Cliché's

This is a selection of entertaining mixed or mangled trite phrases (cliché's) that I remembered or saved along the way.

The Original Set

  • "It's not like I'm taking money out of anyone's mouth."
    • Context: This was stated during a conversation about the ethics of using software without paying for a license, or what Bill Gates likes to over-dramatically call "pirating" it.
    • Contributing Cliché: "taking money out of someone else's pocket"
    • Contributing Cliché: "taking food out of someone else's mouth"
  • "That will be the needle that broke the haystack."
    • This was stated by someone who fumbled nearly everything they tried to say, but still tried to inject a colloquial saying here and there, to try making their point even more ridiculous.
    • Contributing Cliché: "the straw that broke the camel's back"
    • Contributing Cliché: "finding a needle in a haystack"
  • "It's just a blimp on my radar."
    • Said by someone who didn't start life speaking English, so... good try.  I suppose, depending on whether the blimp is made of radar-reflective material, this could be ironic, or it could just be absurd.  Funny either way.
    • Contributing Cliché: "a 'blip' on radar"
  • "I'll let you bury your own hole."
    • Context: This was a feeble attempt to declare intent not to interfere in someone else's conflict.  M.C. Escher probably would have tried to paint a picture of this.
    • Contributing Cliché: "dig yourself deeper into a hole"
    • Contributing Cliché: "bury a bone / body / problem /etc."
  • "If I were you, I wouldn't hedge your bets."
    • Context: Hedging is a somewhat negative notion (betting against yourself), so this was a double negative in a way, but if taken literally, it is at least bad advice.  The application of pronouns is also a little hard to parse.
    • Contributing Cliché: "I would hedge my bets"
  • "If you need me, I'll be out rattling some more trees."
    • Context: Reasonably sure this was intended to mean the person planned to talk to additional contacts about something.
    • Contributing Cliché: "rattling some cages" (perturbing captive animals)
    • Contributing Cliché: "shaking some trees" (attempting to dislodge fruits or nuts growing on the tree)
  • "I don't have a horse in this fight."
    • Context: The person was surely intending to say he didn't have a stake or interest in the outcome of an argument.
    • Contributing Cliché: "have a dog in the fight" (reference to the practice of dog fighting)
    • Contributing Cliché: "have a horse in the race" (reference to a sport in which horses are more commonly used)
  • "We'll cross that bridge when it gets here."
    • Context: From a certain relative-motion perspective, this isn't necessarily an incorrect way to suggest waiting until a decision point is reached to actually make the decision, but...
    • Contributing Cliché: "cross that bridge when we come to it"
  • "It's a great place to flex those wings."
    • Context: Attempt to describing an "practice environment" which is particularly conducive to improving skills and increasing knowledge.
    • Contributing Cliché: "flex your muscles" (demonstrate strength)
    • Contributing Cliché: "spread your wings" (expand upon basic abilities and develop them in a place with fewer constraints / guardrails)

New ones...

  • "Easy Hanging Fruit"
    • Context: Discussion of most beneficial tasks to prioritize based on relative cost/benefit
    • Contributing Cliché: "low hanging fruit"
    • Contributing Cliché: "easy" (as generally used to describe something requiring little effort)
    • Commentary: As mangled, this cliché starts to sound a bit risqué.